Torn Into Pieces
by Tarma Hartley
Summary: The country is on the verge of civil war... and both Phoenix and Miles can't avoid the deluge. With secession in Virginia now a reality, Phoenix made the agonizing choice to stay with Virginia while Miles joined the Union. Can they survive or will their love be another casualty of War? M, Yaoi
1. What Has Come Between Us?

_Fantastic &amp; AWESOME thumbnail artwork is a commission that StudioKawaii did for me! THANKS! :)  
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_A/N: Phoenix Wright &amp; Miles Edgeworth do not belong to me; they belong to CAPCOM. The plot, Col. Mason, Mrs. Wright, Mrs. Edgeworth, Mr. Meyers and Mrs. Wright's household staff are mine. General James Longstreet, Elizabeth Van Lew and General Robert E. Lee are real historical figures.  
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_The country is on the verge of civil war... and both Phoenix and Miles can't avoid the deluge. With secession in Virginia now a reality, Phoenix made the agonizing choice to stay with Virginia while Miles joined the Union. Can they survive or will their love be another casualty of War?  
_

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*This was originally meant to be a oneshot but, at about 12,000 words, I thought that it was a bit too long for a oneshot so that's why I split it into three chapters. Makes it easier to digest*

Story 2 in my Civil War NaruMitsu series. The American Civil War has been a passion of mine since the summer of 1991; I find it to be an extraordinarily fascinating, though tragic, subject of study. It pitted brother against brother, father against son, male relatives against male relatives, North against South. For some, it wasn't a difficult choice to decide where they would put their loyalties but, for others such as Robert E. Lee, it was an agonizing decision. This is also true for Phoenix who loathed slavery but couldn't turn his back on the State that he loved-and the reason why he joined the Confederacy-and for Miles, too, who couldn't fight for the South because of slavery and chose his country, the Union, over his State.

_Wretch: [noun] A deplorably unfortunate or unhappy person._ This is the definition of the word that Phoenix is using to describe the pitiable existence of African-Americans in the antebellum South at this time. It is also true that some female slaves were used as sexual partners by their masters much the same as the Romans made use of their slaves for sex over a thousand years earlier. *As Phoenix noted, it wasn't hard to figure out when some of the younger slaves looked a lot like their owners.* It wouldn't have been talked about openly in polite society but it was known by those who lived in the South that this happened. I use "black," "black race" or "Negro/Negress" which were also in use at the time.

You may notice that, depending on whose view I'm writing from, that the battles I will be writing about will be different depending on whether or not its in Phoenix's, or Miles', P.O.V. North and South used different designations for naming of battles: taken from news/ask-history/why-do-some-civil-war-battles-have-two-names: _Northern soldiers, far more likely to hail from cities or urbanized areas, are believed to have been impressed with the geography of the south, including its mountains, valleys and abundant rivers and streams. In unfamiliar territory, they named many of their battles after these natural features. For Confederate troops, familiar with the rural, natural terrain, towns and buildings were more memorable, and in the south many of the same battles were referred to after the man-made structures nearby._

As incredible as it might sound, people actually DID bring picnic lunches to the First Battle of Bull Run and to watch what they thought would be a quick Union victory. It turned out to be anything but that caused, to use James I. Robertson Jr.'s words from an episode of_ Civil War Journal, "the mother of all traffic jams." _Imagine the chaos when you have fleeing Union soldiers getting caught up with carriages and panicked civilians; perhaps some civilians had accidentally been hit with some kind of shrapnel and were hurt. It would have been absolute pandemonium not to mention quite an eye opener about the exact nature of battle when you've seen row upon row of soldiers mown down by bullets, had their heads blown off by canon shot, disintegrated when a cannonball hit their body; it would have been quite a horrifying sight and unlike the peaceful repose of the dead that they were expecting. *They had only experience of the Napoleonic wars up until this point and neither the North or the South had any idea what war would be like. Paintings showed the dead in peaceful repose so this is what I assume they would be expecting to see. Quite a shock when they saw what it would really be like! The Civil War was the first real modern War.*

I've also tried to be as faithful as I can to the style of letter writing during this period_. _It might not be exactly be grammatically correct now but it was then so that's what I've gone with.

Not everyone in the South was a flaming Secessionist; there were those who lived there who hated slavery and quite openly said so as well. Elizabeth Van Lew, for instance, lived in Virginia. She was a staunch Unionist and she was also a spy for the Union.  
_1861_ by Adam Goodheart was an amazing book and was quite an eye opener.

Mrs. Wright's hyphenated maiden name, Thurber, and Lucinda are shout outs to both my late paternal grandmother and great grandmother.

Links to the various sites I consulted in my profile.

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

**Thanks** to my readers and all those who have favourited, reviewed, story alerted, favourite author or author alerted me. I appreciate it more than I can say! :)

**Thank you** to my beta reader, Pearls1990, for her AWESOME beta reading! Much appreciated! :)

**Special thanks** to my beloved husband, DezoPenguin, for all his help, support, advice, the title, nagging (when necessary) and encouragement! I appreciate it more than I can say! Love you!

Comments are appreciated and welcome! :) I'll probably change some things at some point; always room for improvement! :)

Rated Mature for sex in chapter 2, Drama, male/male relationships, Phoenix x Edgeworth, historical, American Civil War (1861-1865)

Lyrics at the end of the fic are from _Behind These Hazel Eyes _by Kelly Clarkson. What a most appropriate song for this point in United States history. It was also the inspiration for this story.

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_February 4, 1861  
Outside of Alexandria,Virginia  
Phoenix Wright x Miles Edgeworth Residence  
Master Bedroom  
7 P.M._

I lay on the bed in our bedroom and stared at the ceiling for a long time in silence, my hands interlocked behind my head, my eyes shimmering with unshed tears. The lump in my throat was so large that I was surprised that it didn't choke me and my heart ached with a searing pain that refused to go away.

Miles had left some time earlier but I could still hear the slamming of the door as he walked out of the home we shared together echoing in my aching heart. I bit on my bottom lip hard, trying to silence the mewls of pain that I could feel welling up inside of me and the effort to try to keep it down was stretching the limit of my endurance to its near breaking point.

The sun had set some time ago if the moonlight streaming in through the bedroom window was any indication. My heart was in mortal agony, the hard words that we had flung at each other before Miles stormed off, perhaps forever now, echoed in my mind.

_Why can't he understand? _I thought miserably. _Why can't he understand how I feel, that I can't turn my back on my State even if it means that the country disintegrates?_

We'd been having this same argument more often these days and, more often than not, it ended with one, or both of us, leaving the house for an unknown period of time until one or both of us cooled off.

A moan escaped my tightly pressed lips and I finally gave up trying to hold back the tears and let them find free expression. Loud, keening wails bubbled up and escaped, transforming into agonizing screams that seemed to echo in the silent room sounding more like a den of the damned than a person's bedroom where comfort and repose could be found.

Scalding tears poured down my face, deep choking sobs being torn from deep within. My life was in shambles, Miles had probably left for good and my heart was a tattered, bleeding rag. The State I loved was now considering seceding from the rest of the country and there was a very real danger that it would take my lover along with it.

I felt so empty and alone and felt worse than I had for as long as I could remember. Why did this have to be so difficult? Why couldn't Miles understand how much Virginia meant to me? More troubling questions replaced those: How could he not share that same love? He'd lived here as long as I had; in fact we had both been born here so why was he even considering fighting for the enemy when he rightly owed his allegiance to Virginia? How long had he felt like this? And, worst of all, why didn't he _tell _me?

This was a hell of a way to find out and I couldn't help being angry with him for hiding that fact from me for so long. I didn't know how long he had been feeling this way but the revelation was poisoning our relationship and it seemed to me that I didn't, and had never, known the man who had my heart.

Through a fresh well of tears, I well remembered the angry exchange we'd had two weeks earlier like it had only happened yesterday... and it made my heart bleed.

_2 weeks earlier  
January 19, 1861  
8 P.M._

"_How_ long have you felt this way, Miles? And _why_ didn't you tell me?!" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

We had retired to the library after dinner with two snifters of port to relax and discuss the day's events. Normally, we enjoyed our time here, talking and laughing over a hundred different things but tonight was proving to be a _very_ different story.

He was facing away from me so I couldn't see the expression on his face but I knew that my barb had struck home by the stiffening of his back, the clenching and unclenching of his hands that had, up until this point, lain limply by his sides.

I saw his shoulders shake and I couldn't help but wonder what was going on inside his mind. Part of me longed to reach out to him, to take him into my arms and tell him that we were okay and another wanted to lash out and hurt him as he had done to me in hiding his Union sympathies. I simply couldn't understand _why_.

"When? When did this happen?!" I continued to rail at his stiff back. "And why did you keep it hidden from me? Don't you trust me?!"

I heard the sharp intake of breath and his shoulders shook once again. I was about to say something else when he turned to face me, and my angry words died in my throat when I saw the anguished look on his face and all of hell in his eyes.

"Miles?" I stepped forward anxiously, my hand lying on the crook of his arm. I knew that something was very wrong and I wanted to find out what that was. He had to have had a reason for keeping his Union sympathies from me and, although that alone nettled me, I decided to put my personal feelings aside and listen to what he had to say.

He took a few deep breaths and I waited in an impatient silence for him to compose himself enough that he could speak.

"You know that I went down to Charleston, South Carolina three weeks ago to visit my family," he began slowly, his eyes wide.

I nodded. He'd been gone for a few days while he visited his sister and her family, to return her Christmas visit and to catch up with other family and old friends who lived there.

"We were going down Chalmers Street when I...saw it."

"Saw... _what,_ exactly?" I waited for him to continue speaking in expectant silence.

"Slave Market." He spat out the name of the place like it was poison.

"Oh, my God..." I drew in a sharp breath between my teeth when he said this, my hand clenching into a fist at my side, a shudder racing through his body. I knew all about the Slave Market on Chalmers Street in Charleston. Most everyone in the South knew about the hub of the slave trade where men, women and young children were bought and sold like cattle. Love my state though I did, and want to defend her I certainly did from any aggressor, but this I had _no_ desire to preserve nor did I have the stomach for it.

My mother, proper Southern belle she was, surprised some members of her immediate family and friends by steadfastly refusing to have anything to do with this most noxious of enterprises and freed every slave that she could although, to her sadness and mine, many were re-enslaved despite her best efforts to keep them out of harm's way.

I still had nightmares over the scene I had witnessed a few years back when I was in Charleston. It was a terrible sight to behold as weeping and wailing women were separated form their families; some slaves were presented with terrible scars crisscrossing their backs; women stripped naked to the waist with their breasts exposed to their humiliation to be pinched and prodded like they were cattle at market; screaming children were torn forcibly from their parents' arms to be dragged off by some Plantation owner to God knew where and God knew what fate.

I had a pretty good idea what would happen to some of those poor wretches: the most comely of the female slaves would become the sexual playthings of their Masters. It was the South's dirty little secret that everyone who lived here knew but most never openly talked about. If it was even mentioned at all, it was talked about in the quietest of whispers and in the lowest of voices.

I'd been a guest to many plantations over the years and I'd noticed that some of their Negro servants looked a lot like their owners which didn't surprise me; after all, many owners _did _make sexual use of their female slaves, much like the Romans did over a thousand years earlier, and I knew some owners who had Negress mistresses and had for years.

The fact that they seemed proud of this made me sick to my stomach and I made certain that my visits to _these_ houses were concluded as soon as I could decently get away. I always felt like I needed to take a bath after I'd arrived home and I'd scrubbed my skin until it was red and raw to get that slimy film off of me.

My hand tightened on his arm as he shook, his lips trembling and his face as white as a sheet of parchment and pulled him forward. He resisted only tentatively before he fell into my arms, burying his face in my shoulder, his arms wrapping around me in turn.

My fingers wreathed themselves in his grey hair, my cheek resting against the side of his head as I crooned soft words of comfort to him, my earlier anger with him all but forgotten. That the sight was a terrible one was clear and I couldn't help but wonder what else it was that he saw that day on Chalmers Street.

"I'm sorry," he whispered brokenly, his voice choked with tears. "I should have told you earlier but I just... _couldn't_." His voice hitched and I held him even more tightly than I had before. "I... couldn't get that horrible scene out of my mind and its _really _poisoned me against the Confederacy." His voice held a note of bitterness and I could feel his hands clench into fists behind my back. "I could... _never _fight to preserve _that_, I just... _can't_."

"I know," I whispered softly, feeling tears prick at the corners of my eyes and a lump starting to form in my throat. "I know."

Even though I disagreed with him, I had to admit that he had a point. If fighting against the Confederacy meant that slavery would be ended forever in the South, then I was all for that but what it meant to me was that the North was openly threatening us by not allowing us to leave and have a say in our own affairs; this was something that I could _not _abide by nor, in good conscience, could I tolerate. That was why I had decided to fight for the Confederacy and attach my fate to the fate of my home state which had decided to follow South Carolina and six other States in separating from the Union.

I closed my eyes as tears trickled down my face, feeling a lump forming in my throat.

_But... do you understand why I must fight for the Confederacy, Miles? I can't do otherwise or else I would feel I was a traitor to my own home. I wish I could follow you but...I just can't, anymore than you can follow me. _

Silence reigned between us for some time as we stood there, holding each other close. I could feel his body shake with suppressed sobs and I told him it was all right to let them go. He did a moment later, weeping as if his heart would break. I continued to hold him, whispering words of comfort and love to him while he cried. I'd gotten myself under control by this time and I was there for him while his anguish and pain broke forth and found free expression.

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I sighed as I turned over to face the wall, its usually cheery color all but diminished as I lay there and stared at it.

"Miles," I murmured softly, tears trickling down my cheeks once more. "What's happening to us?"

The silence of the night was my only answer, not that I was really expecting one to begin with. Events were spinning out of control and I dreaded the denouement when everything around us would descend into madness. And take us with it.

I rolled over onto my left side, clutching the comforter in cold, nerveless fingers and wept throughout the rest of that long, lonely night. He never said a word at breakfast the next morning and it seemed like he, as I myself, didn't have much of an appetite and left shortly after for our law practice, his meal barely touched.

As it turned out, we wouldn't have long to wait before our world exploded... and took us along with it.

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_April 24, 1861  
Phoenix Wright x Miles Edgeworth's Residence  
Outside of Alexandria, Virginia  
Master Bedroom  
11 P.M._

It had been another awful week of arguing between Miles and myself and he had stormed off earlier this evening. I had retreated to our bedroom after this latest fight, too depressed and sad to do anything except wanting to hide away from the world that had, in one fell swoop, become a living Hell.

I couldn't believe what was happening to us. Why was this so difficult for him to understand? How could he not love Virginia like I did and why did I feel like I was on the defensive? Truthfully, I didn't like slavery anymore than he or his family did and, if it were only that consideration that would be necessary in order to fight for the Confederacy, then I would have damned it and went, instead, to the Federal side. It was clear to me, however, that the North was determined to have its way with the South, despite convention, and that I could _not _abide.

I felt that we should be able to decide for ourselves what was best for us instead of having someone in Washington telling us what to do and it was for this alone that I went to enlist in the Confederate Army. It was clear to me that something had changed and I had a feeling that it all tied back to that incident of the Slave Market at Chalmers Street back in January of 1861 that had been the catalyst that started him on the path of moving away from me.

The final nail that had prompted his flight, and one that I was afraid would be the last time I ever saw him, from our home was the news that Virginia had seceded April 17th. I felt a cold sweat come over me that morning as I read the news.

In shock and barely able to comprehend was I was reading, the paper fell from my nerveless fingers and slid to the table to land in a crumpled heap, the traitorous front page lying face up. I put my face into my hands and wept, knowing that I could no longer delay the inevitable and, split us apart though it might, I had to follow my conscience; I couldn't ignore it, nor my convictions, as I knew that he would not be able to ignore his. I wished with all of my heart that it could be different but it wasn't and I couldn't lie to myself and say that it didn't mean anything because we both knew that it did.

My heart ached with the implications and I knew that it wouldn't be long until we reaped the whirlwind... and wasn't long in coming.

Miles came in to breakfast that morning to find me weeping into my hands; I heard his startled exclamation and footsteps hurrying to my side in order to comfort me, he couldn't have helped but to see the reason for my sorrow that was spread out on the table in front of my breakfast dishes: **VIRGINIA SECEDES! **I didn't even look when I heard the gasp fall from Miles' lips before I heard him abruptly turn and, without a word, left the house, the slamming door echoing in my wounded heart.

Some time later, I managed to compose myself and, after wiping all traces of my sorrow from my face, I went down to the local recruiting office-I didn't have much of an appetite anymore and the sight of food was beginning to make me feel sick-and enlisted in the Army of Northern Virginia. I was scheduled to report for duty three weeks hence and I went to the local tailor to have my new uniform made.

I didn't see Miles for some time after that and I couldn't help but wonder which regiment he would sign up for duty with although I had the thought that he would sign up with one of the Brigades in the Army of the Potomac. The days seemed to fly by and it was with an aching heart that I went to bed early that evening, throwing myself, still fully clothed, on top of our bed.

I was heartsick; I hadn't seen Miles for the past five days and I had no idea where he was or even if he had already shipped out with his regiment, whichever one that might be. I couldn't help but wonder, for the fifteenth time, if what I had done was really the _right_ thing to do. I loved Virginia; I had been born and raised here with Miles and his family and my mother and father considered him a member of our immediate family since we were so close.

I could never have imagined that this love for my home State would be the linchpin that would split us apart. Like Robert E. Lee, I could not lift my hand against Virginia and it hurt that Miles did not seem to share this same love considering that he had signed up to fight for the opposing side.

It was with these thoughts that I stared up at the ceiling of our bedroom, swallowing hard over the lump in my throat. I wished I knew where he was and I couldn't help but worry if he was all right.

My mother, Melissa Thurber-Wright, and Miles' mother, Lucinda Deane Edgeworth, still got together for tea every week as they had for the past sixteen years and it comforted me that they, at least, were reconciled to the fact that their children would be fighting on different sides in this conflict but were determined that this should not destroy their long, deep seated friendship. Knowing Miles to be the honorable man that he was, this gave me hope that perhaps things could be worked out in some manner between us for I certainly had no interest in anyone else.

I closed my eyes, tears slowly sliding down my cheeks. My heart ached for Miles and myself; I loved him to distraction and knew that there wasn't much that would destroy that love for him in my heart, regardless if I agreed with his decision to enlist in the Federal Army or not.

"Miles..." I murmured softly, my throat constricting with pain. I wished with all of my heart that I could see him just one more time and let him know that, no matter what happened, I would never raise my hand knowingly against him nor would this destroy the love that I had for him.

This seemed like a vain hope, to say the least; he had simply left and disappeared somewhere. I know his Mother and brothers and sisters had come here over the past few days to ask me if I had seen him and I had to admit with sorrow that I had not nor did I know where he had gone to. It hurt... God, did it hurt!

I had no idea where he was or even what he was doing and it was this thought that followed me into a fitful sleep...

_Miles..._


	2. Loyalties Divided

_February 5, 1861  
Outside of Alexandria, Virginia  
Phoenix Wright x Miles Edgeworth Residence  
Master Bedroom  
Early morning_

_Miles... where are you going?_

_Don't go! Please...!_

_Don't leave me!_

**DON'T LEAVE ME! **

I woke from fitful slumber with a start, my heart hammering in my chest as I sat bolt upright in bed, a thin scream emerging from tightly pressed lips. I didn't know what time I'd fallen asleep and I had no idea what time it was now but something had woken me and I was hard pressed to figure out _what_.

I'd been having a nightmare so it was with a mixture of relief and trepidation that I awoke, a thin film of sweat covering my brow. It had been a stifling hot day and it seemed that the evening would be even muggier but, thankfully, I could feel a slight breeze blowing through the open window which promised a cooler night.

With a loud sigh, I reached over and grabbed the handkerchief that I had lying on the night table beside the bed, mopping my face with it, closing my eyes and catching my breath.

It had been a horrible dream. I was standing outside of our home, begging and pleading with him to stay with me but he shook his head and walked quite purposefully away from me, never once turning back nor did he listen to my desperate pleas which grew ever more strident and shrill the further away he went.

I wiped my brow with shaky fingers, closing my eyes tightly; I was both thankful, and relieved, to discover that it was in fact _only_ a dream and what had happened in this nightmare really hadn't. I took deep breaths, a low moan bubbling up from deep within my throat, covering my face with my hands.

I don't know how long I sat there but I could see some faint rays of watery moonlight through the crevices made by my hands. And something else I wasn't _quite_ expecting...

_What the-?_ I took my hands away, waiting until my eyes grew accustomed to the darkness. My eyes widened when I saw a dim glow across the room and I gasped when I saw a figure standing there, the glow being the soft light thrown by a kerosene lamp... and then my heart nearly stopped when I saw who it was that was holding the lamp.

_Miles?_

He was still dressed in his best suit and wearing soft white gloves that he'd worn earlier the day before. He looked pale and drawn but it was his eyes that seemed to glitter with intensity as he stared silently at me and it looked as though he had come to a decision about something judging by the enigmatic expression on his face although it might have been only a trick of the moonlight. I never had a chance to say a word before he walked quickly over to me, placing the lamp down on the table beside the bed and threw himself at me, wrapping his arms around me and laying me down on my back on the bed. I couldn't hold back an exclamation of surprise at this most unexpected intrusion but it was by no means an unwelcome one as I soon discovered when I felt his hungry mouth nibbling at my neck that was exposed above my cravat.

I opened my mouth to say something but he whispered for me to be quiet and I moaned quietly as I felt his teeth latch on to my skin, sucking hard, lusty pleasure flowing through me. My face flushed but I made no move to push him away; his roaming hands eagerly touched and caressed my suddenly overheated flesh and I could feel him tugging at the silk material wound around my throat.

My back arched as he continued to suck at my neck, moaning loudly. Dear God, that man knew exactly how to reduce me to a quivering mass of aroused flesh and he proceeded to do exactly that. I could feel his free hand tugging at the ends of my cravat, feeling the silk gently separate and fall away from my neck with a soft whisper, swiftly unbuttoning my collar buttons with quick, practiced fingers, laying bare my neck for his hungry assault.

"Miles..._what...?_"

"Hush, Phoenix," he said quietly in a low, commanding voice as he continued to caress me. I was having a hard time making a coherent thought as my head thrashed from side to side, my eyes fluttering closed as he continued to nibble, his mouth traveling from one side of my throat to the other, licking and sucking.

I wanted to touch him but he pushed my hands gently down to my sides. He lifted his head briefly, telling me that he wanted to enjoy me and to let him do as he willed; after that, I was content to allow him his way.

"M-Miles..." I tried once more to speak but I was thwarted yet again.

"Silence..." His hands traveled over my body, tugging at the hem of my white shirt until he had pulled it free from my trousers. He undid each button one at a time, pushing apart the fabric and exposing my linen undershirt which he deftly pulled up and tore down the middle with a loud snarling sound, exposing my sweat covered chest.

I had opened my mouth once more to say something but immediately snapped it shut. He was in no mood to talk so I decided to let him have his way and shivered as a cool breeze came in through the window, raising goose pimples on my naked flesh.

I then realized, through a haze of lusty pleasure, that he had torn my undershirt in two lengthwise and, before I had a chance to open my mouth to protest his destroying my undershirt, I saw his head duck down, his lips coming into contact with my overly sensitive, aroused skin. I could feel his lips and mouth moving and it sent pleasure rocketing through me, stars exploding behind my closed lids. With a low growl, his mouth moved down further, licking and nibbling at my chest, suckling each nipple one at a time.

"Oh...God, Miles...!" I moaned, too far gone to care, my back arching, my hands twining themselves in his hair and pushing his head closer to my skin. I wanted him so badly at this moment; any and all thought was pushed aside as he continued to work my flesh, alternately licking, nibbling and suckling. He did it intermittently, knowing full well just how to stoke the raging fire within me until I nearly passed out from the pleasure.

I could feel him unbuttoning the button on my trousers, peeling back the inner open flap and swiftly undoing the remaining four, peeling it back to reveal glistening skin. I moaned when I felt his lips touch my stomach, feeling his tongue slowly sliding over my skin, dipping into my navel and continuing its slow, inexorable, trek downward.

I gritted my teeth, my back arching as I felt him touch my stiffening member, crying out when I felt his lips touch the tip and his hand wrapping around it, slowly moving up and down. Pleasure cascaded through me like wildfire, crying out even louder when I felt his mouth open and engulf me in his sweet, wet mouth, his tongue dancing all around my heated flesh, sucking hard.

He kept me on the razor's edge, never letting me go over; teasing, tasting, sucking, nibbling, grazing... I was awash in sensation until I felt that I would literally explode. I was bucking my hips upward, driving myself ever deeper inside his mouth.

God, it felt amazing and I knew it wouldn't be long until I came. Almost as if he had heard my thoughts, he increased his ministrations, his gloved hands stroking me until I did explode, screaming his name, blasting my seed into his mouth. He eagerly drank every drop, sucking hungrily, low growls erupting from deep within his throat.

Breathing hard, my eyes fluttered closed, my heart pounding in my chest. I lay still for many moments, trying to catch my breath after the most amazing climax I'd had with him and I couldn't help but wonder what was driving this.

Some moments later, I opened my eyes and looked down, seeing Miles' cheek lying on my right thigh, my fingers still entwined in his hair.

"God... That... that was AMAZING, Miles..." I panted, my fingers flexing as I untwined them, my left hand cradling the side of his head tenderly.

I could feel his lips curve into a smile but he remained silent while I caught my breath. My mind was spinning with questions, not least of which was what we were going to do or go from here, but I resolved not to think too much about it at this moment and just enjoy the time that we had, knowing that it wouldn't be too much longer before we went our separate ways.

_Don't think about that now, Phoenix,_ I chided myself mentally, feeling Miles slowly begin to stir. _Enjoy what time we have now and worry about the future later._ That made my heart twinge since I knew that, for some time to come, we wouldn't be together and it made me wonder if my convictions were even worth it if it meant the rupturing of our relationship. And it troubled me that I had lingering doubts.

I lifted my head slightly and looked down, smiling as I met Miles' dark grey eyes. I stroked his cheek tenderly with my fingertips and he looked at me with such love that it literally took my breath away. At least one part of my worries seemed to be alleviated but it didn't completely take away the sting of the angry words that we had flung at each other earlier. It still bothered me and I was determined that we should talk about this since I felt that it needed to be settled sooner rather than later.

Almost as if he had read my thoughts, he lifted his head and began to slither upward until he was lying beside me and, before I had a chance to say a word, he pressed his mouth hard against mine, his gloved hand lifting to gently cup the side of my face. His tongue flicked over my lips and I immediately opened them as he slid in with a muffled groan.

_Dear God_, I thought as my heart began to beat faster and I felt his fingers gently caressing my skin, _that feels really good!_

Long practiced in the art of pleasuring me, Miles knew how to stoke the burning fire his touch always aroused in me and he proceeded to do precisely that for the next indeterminate while until, a short time later, I was once again a mass of quivering, aroused and overheated flesh begging for release.

I had the fleeting suspicion that he was deliberately arousing me the way only he could in order to distract me-although I knew from long association that that wasn't his primary motivation and that he did, indeed, want me and loved me-but all thoughts of any sort were soon swept away on waves of pleasure that crashed through me.

I no longer cared as to the why of it and I was determined to enjoy the exquisite thrill I felt coursing through my body. I could feel his gloved fingers tracing lazy patterns on my slick, sweaty skin, his hungry mouth alternately licking and nibbling his way up from my navel to my neck, taking his sweet time in the process.

It was getting to a point where I wanted to literally rip the clothing from his body but I resisted the urge, reaching down and grabbing his wrists and pulling him down onto my half-bare chest, my fingers sliding up his arms until they tangled in his hair, pulling his head down to mine, crushing my mouth hard against his.

I could feel his lips curve against mine in an amused smile but that soon changed when I deepened the kiss, my tongue feathering over his lips and prodding to gain entrance; with a moan, he opened his mouth and it slid right in, tangling merrily with his own.

He moaned against my mouth, his soft, wet and inviting and I took immediate advantage of this since I intended to turn the tables on him and arouse him as he had already so artfully done to me.

I grinned under his mouth as I deepened the kiss once again, driving my tongue deeper than I had before, devouring his sweet lips with delight. One of my hands disentangled themselves from his hair and slowly slid down the side of his face, glorying in the softness of his slick skin as they slowly made their way downward.

My index finger slowly traced the outside shell of his ear and I could feel him start with surprise when he felt my touch but he soon relaxed, moaning softly against my mouth. He shifted his weight until he was lying half on and half off of me, his leg thrown over mine.

I could feel him moving slowly against me and growing hard with arousal; it excited me that my lover was taking such a wonderfully naughty advantage and I swiftly rose to the occasion.  
My fingers continued their downward trek, slowly tracing circular patterns on his neck and at the base of his throat; I could feel him swallowing hard as we continued our deep kisses and he ground himself harder against me, driving both he and I to higher heights of passion.

I had to slow him down or I knew that he would climax much sooner than I wanted him to so I gently pulled back, stinging his lips with soft, butterfly kisses as I did so. He protested loudly at this but I gently pushed him back when he tried to pull my head down again, slithering out from beside him and turning him gently until he was lying on his back, breathing heavily, his eyes half-closed and glimmering with undisguised lust and longing.

I smiled as I took his wrists in my hands, pinning them above his head and lowered myself down until I lay on top of him. My feet hooked around his and I spread my legs, effectively forcing him to do the same; I silenced his startled exclamation with my mouth, alternating between biting his lips and pressing soft, gentle kisses against them until my breath ran out.

I took a deep breath and kissed him again while slowly rotating my hips so that my arousal ground against his. I could feel intermittent puffs of breath on my skin from our joined mouths and hear his heart which was beating harder than it had before. I continued my ministrations until he was writhing underneath me, mewls of pleasure now pouring from his mouth.

Now that I had him exactly where I wanted him, I slowly raised my head, his red, puffy lips looking so irresistible in the dim light and I smiled, leaning down to whisper naughty things in his ear, my tongue licking down the side of his neck that was exposed above his cravat, nibbling on his ear lobe. His moans were louder and more strident now, his head thrashing from side to side and I could feel his hips driving up against me in order to increase the pleasurable friction between us. My lips curved into a smile against his skin and, bidding him in a low voice to keep his hands exactly where they were, I released his wrists.

He did as I had told him and I slowly undid his cravat, taking my time with the silky material, enjoying the feel of it underneath my fingertips before I slid one end over his wrists, quickly tying it and slowly lifting it above his head and tying the ends to the headboard of our bed.

His gasp quickly turned into a moan after I had finished doing so and slowly slid until I was lying beside him, taking time and care to slowly unbutton his jacket and then his crisp white dress shirt; I pulled his undershirt from inside his black trousers and, with a savage yank, ripped it up the middle, exposing his toned torso and sweaty skin to my eager eyes. I licked my lips as I set to my task with relish, licking and nibbling until he was literally crazy with desire, begging me to take him.

It excited me to see him in such a state and knowing that it was I who had brought him such pleasure and I smiled as I ignored his pleas for the moment, taking time with my licking and nibbling until my tongue dipped into his navel. I could feel his erection straining against his trousers and feel his hardness against my cheek before I sat up on my elbow and unbuttoned them, pulling aside the flap. I slowly undid the strings that held his underclothing together, pulling them apart and releasing his erection that I quickly took into my mouth, sucking for all I was worth, gently scraping my teeth against him.

He screamed out his pleasure moments before he thrust against my mouth, driving himself deeper into me and I increased my hungry suckling; I could feel him hovering on the edge and teased him a little, bringing him closer and closer to the edge but not allowing him to go over just yet. By the time I was ready to let him come, he was bathed in sweat and crying out for release, desperately thrusting in and out of my mouth, unintelligible words pouring out of his mouth.

I pushed my mouth all the way down until my lips touched the base of his sex and sucked hard until I felt him climax, arching his back and screaming out his pleasure, hot, salty jets of come erupting from him that I eagerly swallowed until he collapsed, spent back down on the bed, breathing hard.

I waited, my mouth still enveloping him until I could feel him start to soften and then I lifted my head, letting him fall from my lips and back onto his belly. I smiled saucily at him while he looked at me through bleary, half-closed lids, still trying to catch his breath. He looked so enticing, his hands tied above his head, his slick skin shining in the dim light given off by the lamp that lay on the table beside the bed.

"Dear... lord, Phoenix..." he panted after he had regained the ability to speak, taking deep breaths as he did so. I grinned wolfishly, slowly sliding my tongue seductively over and around my lips; I could hear his breath catch and feel him struggle a little against his bonds, his face adorably flushed and disheveled. I tenderly stroked his skin with my fingertips, sliding up his body until I lay beside him once more, my head resting against his. I closed my eyes for a moment, just enjoying his closeness and the feel of him which we both knew would be quite possibly the last time we would be able to do so for quite some time.

_Or ever..._

I could feel my heart constrict at the thought and I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, willing that thought into the furthest reaches of my mind. I didn't know what the future would bring in the years to come or even who would emerge the victor in this struggle but I did know one thing: Miles, regardless if he had chosen the Federal cause over the Confederate, had, and always would, my heart and my love.

I was his from the moment we had been introduced back in that long, hot summer of 1855 by mutual friends at a community picnic, some of whom now were fighting for opposing sides and he mine. Our relationship was not only one of the flesh but one of spirit and I fervently hoped that this War would be a short one; I had the ominous feeling in the back of my mind that it probably wouldn't be and that we should prepare ourselves, as much as we possibly could, for the inevitable. I didn't even like to think about that but it was something that we would be forced to face sooner or later since we both well knew that war killed people and there would possibly be many that we knew who would be among those who died.

I looked down at him for some time and my feelings must have shown on my face since he quickly lifted his head, his lips meeting mine in a kiss so deep that it left me breathless.

My eyes fluttered in surprise at the feeling behind it but it also comforted me; Miles had correctly deduced the thoughts that were going through my mind and he showed me, in a way that he knew I would understand, that he felt the same way. No matter what happened, he would always be mine.

I untied his hands and, once they were free, he wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly to him, stroking my black hair and crooning words of comfort. I took a deep, shaky breath as I began to softly intone three words, repeating them over and over: _Miles. Loves. Me. Miles. Loves. Me. Miles. Loves. Me_ until I could feel myself become calm once again and I stopped shivering.

Miles' fingers dug into my hair as his chin rested on my shoulder.

"I love you, Phoenix," he said softly, emotion thick in his voice.

I could tell that he was on the verge of tears and hastened to try to comfort him in turn. I now realized that this was as hard on him as it was on me and that this was a solid, absolute truth. It went a long way to soothe me.

_How much I wish that circumstances were different... _

"I love you, too, Miles," I replied, my voice hoarse with budding emotion as well, feeling his grip on me tighten. "So very, _very_ much!"

We held each other for some time until we gently parted; his hand reached up to cup the side of my face and brought my lips toward his once again, kissing me gently, lovingly and tenderly. Our hands roamed over each other's bodies and we removed the remainder of our clothing before we made love until we collapsed in an exhausted, but happy and satisfied, tangle of limbs.

Almost as an afterthought, Miles blew out the lamp that was guttering and throwing a jerky, uncertain light around the room before he settled down once again. He took me into his arms and held me tightly against him, murmuring words of love until we drifted off to sleep just as the sun was beginning to rise over the horizon.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX **

_Home of Mrs. Melissa Thurber-Wright  
Parlor  
Richmond, Virginia  
May 24, 1861  
10 A.M._

I had recently joined the Virginia regiment commanded by Lt. General James Longstreet and had received my commission of Captain of one of his regiments. My mother was beside herself with maternal pride, her face positively glowing as she exclaimed over how handsome I looked in my new uniform that had recently been finished by one of the local tailors whom I knew in our hometown.

Made of wool, it was a soft grey with gold piping from elbow to wrist; soft white gloves; gold stars on my mandarin collar; grey trousers that were tucked into black knee-high square toed boots; a grey felt slouch hat with the insignia of our regiment at the base of the crown that was completed by a black Sam Browne-style belt that crossed over my right shoulder, with a pistol on one side and my ceremonial sword on the other.

I had to admit that I did look quite dashing and I couldn't help but wonder how Miles would look in his navy blue uniform. He had joined a Union regiment shortly after I had joined up with the Army of Northern Virginia and I hadn't seen him since that last night when we made love until dawn.

I smiled as I remembered that night; we both swore that, come what may, we would not raise our hand against the other, calling on God as our witness. We reiterated our deep love for each other and sealed it with a long, lingering kiss that seemed to last forever before he reluctantly got up out of our bed and dressed. His dark grey eyes never once left mine as he dressed and, walking over to the bed once more, he bent down and kissed me one final time before he stood up and turned to leave.

I called out to him before he did and he turned to look at me. Too overcome with emotion to speak, I pressed my hand against my heart and, cupping my hands, extended it to him. He drew in his breath, tears springing into his eyes as he repeated the gesture, his lips trembling and then turned and quickly left the room, grabbing his boots on his way out the door.

I waited until he was gone before I allowed the tears to come and I had wept for what seemed like hours.

A soft knock at the front door startled me out of my reverie and half turned toward the parlor door as our butler, Mr. Myers, came into the room, bearing a card on a silver tray.

He looked the part in his black suit, crisp white shirt, polished black shoes and cravat with soft white gloves; he was the model of efficiency and had been with our family for as long as I could remember.

I knew the story of how he had come to our family many years earlier and this only affirmed the disgust I felt at slavery in general. I knew that Mr. Myers was grateful to my parents for rescuing him from his first brute of an owner, Silas Powell, and freeing him from a truly intolerable life. He'd served my parents devotedly for many years and, in the process, became a firm and loyal friend and exemplary man.

I'd been a very young boy when he came to our household and I remembered that he'd been on eggshells for the first while. I didn't blame him for that since it was obvious that his terrible experience at the Powell Plantation had made him fearful and not without reason for they were bought, sold and mistreated at the whim of their owners. I'd heard some terrible stories and they sickened me.

I'd always liked him-he'd helped me out of many a scrape that the scapegrace child I once was got into, helping to soothe ruffled parental feathers-and made certain that he was treated with respect by all who came into our home; anyone who did not was immediately escorted out. In that, I resembled my father who'd never had a bad thing to say about anybody and I was determined that all those who came to our home treated everyone within with respect.

"A visitor to see Master Phoenix," he intoned, his voice soft. I jumped slightly, startled out of my reverie and Mother looked up from her book, her hazel eyes soft and warm behind her spectacles.

My eyebrow rose. "To see me?" I asked, surprise clear in my voice.

The butler again nodded.

"Yes, Master Phoenix," he replied.

"Who is it, Mr. Myers?" my Mother asked, closing her book and lying it on the table next to the settee, her voice alive with curiosity. I couldn't blame her since I was quite curious myself to know who this mysterious visitor was. We hadn't had many in the past two weeks so it was indeed quite an unexpected pleasure for us to have someone arrive.

"Master Miles is here to see you, Sir. He requests permission to come in."

Her face brightened and clapped her hands with delight while my heart started to beat double time; it was so loud in my ears that I was surprised that no one heard it and I couldn't help the red stain that crept into my cheeks.

"How wonderful!" she exclaimed and I couldn't repress a smile at her enthusiasm, covering my red cheeks superbly. "You must go and tell him that he should come in at once!"

She had always looked on Miles as being a second son to her and her affection, and love, hadn't dimmed a jot even though he was fighting for the Union cause and neither did her long time friendship with Miles' mother cool or become icily polite like many I had previously known had much to my Mother's sorrow and mine, as well. Many of these had been longstanding friends of our family for many generations and to see some relationships become unaccountably strained or pushed past the breaking point was, in my mind, a terrible tragedy.

_When we should be pulling together we're tearing each other apart. No wonder we're never able to get past our differences._

Mr. Myers still waited for an answer and I, being the Master of this house since my father had died five years earlier, was the one to give it to him. Even my Mother looked at me expectantly.

"Send him in," I said at last, a wide smile spreading over my face, my eyes twinkling. I certainly didn't miss the happy looks both on the butler and my mother's faces before Mr. Myers turned and walked quickly out of the room.

I stood there, waiting with baited breath before he finally came in... and my breath caught in my throat when I saw him standing there. He looked devastatingly handsome in his dark blue uniform, gold epaulets gracing the shoulders and dark blue trousers tucked into knee high black boots and a blue slouch hat on his head.

My mother reached out a hand to him and he went over to her, taking her hand in his own and planting a soft kiss on the back of her hand. He seemed a little nervous to me and I really couldn't blame him; despite his family being good friends with ours for many years, the coming conflict had broken many of these same relationships beyond repair so it was only natural that he wouldn't completely be certain of the reception he would receive at our home. I noticed that he started to relax once my Mother had greeted him, the tenseness that was evident in his posture slowly ebbed away.

Of course, I also knew that he had an additional reason to wonder at what reception he would receive here: and that was the one he would receive from me. I was his longtime lover, after all, and we hadn't seen each other for three weeks; small wonder he looked tense when he had first come into the parlor.

"Miles! How wonderful to see you again!" she said happily, her pleasure and delight in seeing him very clear in her voice and in the expression on her face, lifting her hands, reaching out to him.

"It's good to see you, too, Mother Wright," he replied, his eyes shining as they flickered over to look at me and then back to my mother, taking her hands in his and planting a soft kiss on her cheek, a faint smile quirking at the corners of his mouth. "My good Mother sends her greetings. She also says she would like to extend an invitation to come to dinner Saturday evening if you are able to do so."

"I can and with great pleasure, Miles," she said, gesturing to the chair immediately across from her and he walked over and sat down. "Thank you." After that, she proceeded to catch up with the latest news from his family: who was married, who was getting married, who was travelling on the Continent, who was expecting children and the like.

They talked for some time of other matters, mundane and otherwise; I waited in silence until they were finished talking and then Miles asked me if I would like to come with him on a walk since it was a fine day and it would be a shame to waste it. I agreed, bowing low to my mother before we turned and walked out of the room, greeting Mr. Myers on the way out.

We stepped out of front door onto the porch and I could see, to my surprise, two horses tied to the railing in front of the house.

"I... couldn't _not_ stop by," he began slowly, his voice clearly nervous when he saw my eyebrow raise in inquiry at the extra horse. "I... wanted to see you again since we're moving out in a couple of weeks and I didn't think that I would have another opportunity... so I..." His voice trailed off into silence as he turned to face me, his hand reaching out which I immediately took in my own, squeezing it tightly, a wide smile on my face.

I leaned in quickly and kissed him right on the mouth, doing a long and thorough job of it. He made a soft exclamation of surprise but he quickly kissed me back, deepening the kiss. My free hand reached up to cup the side of his face, my thumb gently caressing his skin.

"There's no need to apologize, Miles," I replied quietly once we had parted, my gloved fingers still cupping his face. "I'm very happy to see you again although I must admit that it is somewhat of a surprise."

"A good one, I trust."

"Of course." I leaned in, rubbing the tip of my nose against his which brought a smile to his face. "I wasn't expecting to see you again so I am quite pleased that you came to see me."

"I _couldn't_ stay away," he confessed, worrying his lip between his teeth, a blush rising in his cheeks. "I couldn't get you out of my mind and longed to see you again so I came here the first chance I had when I was going around to bid farewell to my family and... friends."

I nodded, not missing the faint note of pain in his voice when he said it nor the slight pause in between words. I expected that there might be some among his friends who _wouldn't_, or _couldn't_, understand why he'd gone over to the Federal cause and most likely had made their feelings and thoughts on the matter plain to him in no uncertain terms. By the shadowed look in his dark grey eyes, I suspected that to be the truth and possibly had meant the end of some close friendships, as well, that he had had since boyhood.

He squeezed my hand, laying his head on my shoulder and I rested mine against his, basking in his presence and in the warm sunshine.

"I'm sorry I couldn't fight alongside with you, Phoenix," he whispered softly, his voice sad. "Would to God that I could."

I hastened to comfort him. "It's all right, Miles. I do understand the reason why. I don't agree with you but that doesn't change the way I feel about you." I lifted my head and looked straight into his eyes. "I love you, Miles; I always have and I always will no matter what happens." I swallowed. "I swore to it that night with God as my witness and I will follow through."

He swallowed hard, his lips trembling, his grip on my hand increasing. I saw the tears in his eyes shimmer before one trickled out of the corner of his eye and ran slowly down his face. I wiped the tear gently away with my thumb.

"I-" he began to speak but couldn't continue over the lump in his throat but I understood what it was that he was trying to say: he was hoping that I would still love him even though he was, in effect, fighting against me. He knew that we had spoken such words to each other three weeks before but he also knew that feelings, like thoughts, could change over time and he was afraid that I no longer loved him.

I smiled gently as I leaned in and tenderly kissed him. "I meant what I said three weeks ago," I repeated, my voice brimming with emotion. "I love you and I always will, no matter what happens."

"And I... you," he replied hoarsely, leaning toward me. "I... love you, too, Phoenix. I always will... no matter what."

I swallowed over the growing lump in my throat and wordlessly pulled him toward me, feeling his arms wrap around me and the comfort of his body against mine. We stood there on the porch for some time, basking in our mutual love and affection. After we had parted, we mounted the horses and went for a long ride over the hills and valleys, talking of a hundred different things and taking a dip in the local creek that we had frequently gone to when we were boys. We ended up making love for the rest of that afternoon and held each other close once it was over, our fingers tangling in each others sweat-soaked hair, murmuring words of support and unending love.

We took another swim to wash ourselves before we lay in the sun and dried our bodies before getting dressed again and riding back home. Once I had dismounted, he leaned over and took the reins of the horse from me, his fingers clasping around mine once again before he straightened up.

"I love you, Miles."

"I love you, too, Phoenix." I stepped forward until I stood at his stirrup and he leaned down to kiss me one last time, his hand cupping the back of my head. It was a kiss both of desperation and heartbreaking loss although one of unending love and devotion at the same time. We both knew that it might be the very last we would ever exchange.

Once we parted, he sat up in his saddle, his hand slipping from the back of my head, his fingertips trailing over my cheek. His eyes never left me until he gently spurred his horse which turned and started to trot away.

I watched him as he left, my heart going with him until he was lost to sight and then I slowly turned and walked into the house, my heart bleeding and torn.

_Godspeed, Miles. God bless and protect you._


	3. Letters From The Battlefield

_September 29, 1861  
Sitting Room  
Mrs. Melissa Thurber-Wright's Residence  
Richmond,Virginia  
5:30 P.M._

Mrs. Wright sat in the parlor, reading Phoenix's latest letter to the assembled household. Each member sat entranced as he recounted the events of the latest round of training or laughed at some of the more humorous accounts of daily Army life. He remembered each person individually by name and wished them all well; after she had finished reading the letter, each one had gone back to their duties with renewed spirit and vigor.

Mrs. Wright smiled softly as she watched them leave before she took out another letter that had been tucked into the one that she had just read to her household. This one she would read privately since it concerned matters that the house staff were unaware of or, if not unaware, then at least ignorant of the facts and she was content to leave it that way.

Her last visit with Mrs. Edgeworth had been wonderful and they had exchanged their respective children's letters since both mothers were remembered in each letter. She shared Mrs. Edgeworth's sorrow over the death of her youngest child, Martin, at Second Manassas that past August which Phoenix had written to both to tell them the sad news.

He had been in the brigade that Phoenix commanded and he shared how badly the young man's death had affected him; he wrote that he had come under fire when the Federals were retreating and stayed behind to help some wounded comrades when a volley of bullets had cut him down. He had 'f_ought bravely until the last and was helping some of the wounded when some retreating Federals had fired upon him, killing the young man instantly. He felt no pain so Mother Edgeworth need not worry that he suffered before his passing' _and, even though she missed her youngest child terribly, Mrs. Edgeworth had derived great comfort from Phoenix's letters.

With a deep sigh, Mrs. Wright unfolded the latest letter from Phoenix, written nearly two months earlier.

_July 21, 1861  
Manassas Junction, Virginia_

_Dearest Mother_

_This letter comes to you from the battlefield where we have prevailed in our fight against the North. Thanks to our glorious army, we have managed to repel the invaders! What a spectacle that was!_

_Mother, you would be proud of your son since I took my men and made a grand showing, leading them right into the mouth of Hell and the guns; no man hesitated, no man shirked or did not do his duty; we have made a fine showing of it. Lt. General Longstreet was quite pleased with our performance and said as much after the battle was over. What a glorious beginning we have made that will, God willing, grant us complete victory in the end. I can only pray that this success will be the first of many for the Confederacy and that this late unpleasantness and this will soon be over._

_The Federals, such as they were, made a strong showing at first but, after General Jackson and his Virginians made their stand, they turned tail and fled. It was remarkable! God has shown us His merciful face and I pray that it will not be long until the North lays down their swords and we can come to some kind of agreement. _

_I must confess that I was amazed at the number of carriages that we saw on the bluffs overlooking Manssas Junction; there were people picnicking on the bluffs! I must confess that this surprised me greatly-who on earth would want to be near a battlefield?-but have learned since that they were civilians who had come to watch the Federals route us, no doubt expecting to see a quick and decisive victory for the Union forces. It must have come as quite a shock to them when we soundly defeated them and they were in as panicked a state as the retreating Union army that caused quite a kerfuffle! It was, on one hand, vastly amusing at watching them scrambling to get away and being passed by the fleeing Federal Army which caused no end of confusion and, on the other, it was something that was, I suspect, to them terrifying. It was quite the thing!_

_I must also tell you, Mother, that I also saw Miles today across the field of battle. I must confess that my heart was pounding in my chest when I saw him leading his men into the thick of battle but he commended himself honorably and his men did not falter nor did they hesitate but waded in to where the fighting was thickest. He was a sight to see, encouraging his men onward, marching back and forth as hails of bullets whizzed by him, waving his sword in the air!_

_Remarkably, though there were those who were cut down around him, he, himself was unscathed; I must also admit that I am glad that he came through without a scratch as there were many of his young soldiers that were not as lucky. I closed the eyes of many an enemy soldier that had gasped out his last breath on that blood soaked land and helped who I could with what I had which, regrettably, wasn't much. Please let Mother Edgeworth know that he is all right since I saw him on the field after the battle helping wounded Federals to field hospitals before he went back to Washington._

_Tell her that he would do her proud and, while other soldiers had turned tail and fled the scene, he did not until he had finished helping those he had come by and he prudently decided to make his way back to Washington in order to avoid capture. I helped him, Mother; I could not do otherwise. He has, and always shall, have my heart and this hasn't changed even though we are on opposing sides. He would have done the same for me but at least I was happy to have the chance, fleeting though it was, to see him again and be able to render him this service._

_I kissed him goodbye before sending him on his way and I was relieved to learn that he had made it safely back to Washington a week or two later; it took a great weight off of my heart to know that he was safe and send him all the love I can, praying for his safety in these trying times._

_There isn't much more to tell you Mother, so I will close for now. Give my love to Prentiss, Myers, Cecilia, Martin, Jonathan, extended family and friends and, especially, to Mother Edgeworth and her family. I hear that two of her sons have signed up for duty in the Federal Army with another that just signed up today in the Army of Northern Virginia. Maxwell sends his love to his mother and brothers and sisters and also told me to remind Clara Dawson of his undying devotion (why he did not tell her so himself I can't imagine but we know that he is a bashful sort and probably thinks that she would reject him when I know quite well that she would not; the good lady has told me so herself on many an occasion and only awaits a word from him to confess all)._

_Col. Mason sends his regards and asks your permission to come and call upon you. He asked me for mine, being the Master of the house, but I told him that you were quite capable of making your own decisions in that regard and to ask you himself. I don't doubt that he may come calling within the next few weeks unless there is a battle to fight by then. _

_Mr. Barry, Mr. Cross, Mr. Valen, Mrs. Seldana, Mr &amp; Mrs. Henry Brackenridge and Mrs. Coombs also send their love and their hope that you will come to visit soon; I suspect that they may have a wish for you to regale them with the latest exploits of your soldier son of which there really are not many; despite what the papers might say, my men deserve all the glory that I get. _

_I wish that they would recognize the common fighting man but I suppose that this is my cross to bear; I must confess that I don't feel like I deserve such honors and that my men are far more deserving of them than I. They are the ones who have the unenviable task of rushing into the teeth of the storm. Although I am there with them to encourage and lead them, I feel that they are much braver than I._

_Take care, dearest Mother, and I will write again when I can. Perhaps this War will be over soon and then we'll be together again for Christmas; I can only hope, and pray, that this is so._

_As Ever,_

_Love, Phoenix_

_Please Tell Mother Edgeworth that I KEPT THE FAITH, as I promised_.

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

Mrs. Wright put the letter down on her lap, taking her reading glasses off of her face, placing them on the table next to the settee, a sad but proud smile on her face.

_I knew you would, Phoenix,_ she thought, her breast swelling with maternal pride. _You have confirmed my fondest hopes. _She closed her eyes momentarily._ God go with you, beloved son, and God grant you both come home safely!_

Mr. Myers stood at her elbow behind the chair in which she sat and she impatiently gestured for him to take the chair across from her which he did, a proud smile on his face.

"Master Phoenix is a good man," he said quietly.

Mrs. Wright nodded, closing her eyes for a moment and taking a deep breath.

"He is indeed and I couldn't be prouder of him." She opened her eyes and smiled softly. "He's confirmed my fondest hopes when he was a child that he would grow into a fine man and it appears that he has done so."

Myers nodded, his liquid brown eyes shining.

"Indeed he has. His father would be proud of the man he's become."

"He would at that." Both fell silent for a moment, thinking of Mr. Wright with fondness before their eyes flickered over to a portrait of him that stood on the mantle over the fireplace.

His kind blue eyes shone out from a heart shaped face with firmly chiseled features, snow white shoulder length hair and full lips that always seemed to have a smile for all that he met. His death five years earlier had been quite a shock but Phoenix, despite his great grief, had bravely announced after the funeral that he "would make Papa proud and take care of her and the household" and he had proceeded to do just that.

Mrs. Wright smiled sadly before she looked at Myers again.

"Very proud."

"Indeed, Madam." He paused a moment. "Do you miss him?"

She nodded. "Yes. Very much." Her voice was soft and Myers didn't miss the catch that was barely discernible.

She had loved her late husband very much and he knew that she still did which was why she hadn't had male callers until recently with the persistent attentions of Col. Mason, a Confederate officer in the Army of Northern Virginia, 2nd Brigade.

He was a good man in every sense of the word and treated all he met with respect which was unlike the mean condescension he'd felt over the course of his life. He truly hoped that, for her sake, that Mrs. Wright would allow herself to fall in love again for, in truth, she had much to give and he knew that Col. Mason would treat her like the lady she was, without condescension.

Mrs. Wright looked at him with a slight smile gracing her lips, extending her hand which he took, holding it tightly. Myers nodded and both retreated into silence once more, the soft late afternoon sun shining through the stained glass windows.

**~FIN~**

_Here I am once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up deep inside  
But you don't get to see the tears I cry..._

Kelly Clarkson—Behind These Hazel Eyes


End file.
